Friday, January 4, 2013

Hello, Reality Calling

Sitting in the glow of the Christmas tree on the 4th of January, eating red licorice and wondering how long is too long to leave our tree up.  As if the dumb tree is the only thing I have to worry about. But it's our first real tree in 5 years, and it's still fresh.  It seems like a waste to throw it out on the curb to freeze and die.   Plus I think I missed the garbage day where the city collects trees.  Dumb city,  don't they know Christmas doesn't officially end until January 6 ?  Day of Epiphany and all that? And plus, now that we have survived the first week of post- Christmas vacation,  I might finally have a moment to sit down and relax and actually enjoy my tree... PLUS, I can't find the motivation to even  put my shoes away, let alone tackle a huge project like the tree.

Speaking of huge projects, we have a few  of them going on right now.  There is the job project of course. That is mostly Dan's project, and I don't envy him.  I think my part in the job project is to worry.  Stew. Fret.  What else can I do? I try not to think about it that much, because it only makes my stomach hurt.  Most nights I wake up at 2 in the morning and the thoughts start zooming around in my head, and won't stop, and then I lay awake for four more hours conjuring up new and different ways that we could come to our doom in the next few months. I have found it's much better to just stay awake until 2 in the morning.  Because then I fall asleep and usually stay that way til the alarm rings. That way, I avoid the whole waking up thing, AND I get four hours of mostly uninterrupted sleep.

Then there is the Duncan project.  Duncan is turning 18 in 5 days.  How that is a possibility is beyond me, but here we are.  Once he turns 18, he qualifies for SSI, IF we can get him approved.  Getting him approved means alll kinds of paper work, and all kinds of digging up old records and test results and remembering all the doctors he has seen through the years.  On top of that, we have to decide what to do with him next year, post high school.  There are a few different options, and we have to pick which one we want now, because, as odd as it sounds, if he graduates from high school, he won't qualify for one of them.  He is borderline right now on being able to graduate.  We can push him through, or we can let  him slide, and whichever we pick will kind of determine what kind of program he will be in next year.  So I have to go investigate these different programs, and see which one I think is best for Duncan. And I have to do this by last October.  I am just a little behind.  There is also the whole cap and gown package we were supposed to have paid for last October.  I need to do that too.

January was supposed to be the month where I laid around watching TV and eating bonbons.  See, I spent the summer working my butt off at the Logan house, getting it cleaned up and ready for renters.  In September we went to Disneyland and while that was fun, it was also a ton of back breaking labor and anxiety-induced nausea over whether the car would make it, and how much money to spend, and what we were going to eat, and all that   Then in October I spent the whole month worrying and packing and working towards Haiti.  I got back the first part of November, just in time to put on Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I figured by January there would be no big projects in my life.  Hah. Go figure.

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