Thursday, June 26, 2014

Dear Kate

This is my letter to Kate Kelly.  If you have not heard of Kate Kelly, you probably don't live in Utah.

Dear Kate Kelly,

I have been thinking a lot about you lately.  I can't help but feel for you right now.  I know a little about spiritual anguish, and I am sure you are in the midst of something terrible right now.  You have your supporters and you have  your critics and everyone is so vocal about all that has happened.  And all of this just makes me sad.  I am sad for the path you are now on.  I am sad that there is so much dissent among church members.  I am sorry you felt you had to choose such a public forum for what should have been your own personal quest for enlightenment.

I have been to your website.  I have read some of your thoughts.  I would even say I can certainly sympathize and agree with some of the points you made. I believe that the role of women in the church has been heavily influenced by our culture, and there is much room for improvement in the leadership roles women can play in our church, and also in how we view ourselves and our daughters.  I also think that we have made great progress even over just the last few years.  And perhaps some of that progress is due to the influence of those who feel as you do. But where I part ways with you  is that I do not believe that ordaining women to priesthood offices is the way to advance the role of women. I also don't believe you have the right to force your personal agenda onto the entire membership of the church, nor should you be actively recruiting people to join your cause to change church doctrine.

I have a hard time understanding how you can profess to believe in the authority of this church, and then be shocked at your ex-communication when you continually defy that authority.   You claim that you are being punished for merely asking a question.  In reality, you took a great deal  more action than just asking questions.  You claim that being ex-communicated is a violent process and anything but loving.  I would have to argue that you brought that upon yourself; it was not  an act that was committed upon you   And if you understood anything about church discipline, you would first understand that ex-communication, while painful, is the first step in the repentance process, and is a gift that offers you the chance to come back, free and clear and fully restored. And hopefully, much stronger and wiser for your experiences.  That is what repentance  and the atonement is all about. Indeed, that is what this whole mortal experience is about.


Let's talk about equality for a moment.  You claim on your website that you can prove that inequality exists in the church by looking at numbers. You seem to think that until 50% of conference talks and prayers are given by women, we are not equal.  Until a branch can be formed with only women, we are not equal.  Until scout budgets and activity days budgets consist of the same numbers, we are not equal.   All of these things might be great improvements that we as a church could make, but none of them would change the fact that males and females are equally important in the eyes of God, and equally loved and valued.   That is the only equality that should really matter to us, and the gospel is very clear on that point.   Whether or not women, or men for that matter,  are ordained to the priesthood does not change the value of their souls one little bit. Where in the world did we ever get the idea that the legal definition of equality had to apply to the kingdom of God?  I believe that I am a loved and valued child of God, along with every other person on this earth, and that whether or not I am able to administer a blessing or preside over a meeting is of no consequence in the eyes of God or in my spiritual progression.  

I believe I already hold the priesthood.  I am not ordained to an office in the priesthood, and I don't hold  the authority to perform priesthood ordinances for other people, but every calling I have had, every influence of the Spirit I have felt, every sin I have sought forgiveness for, has been through the power of the priesthood.  I am not even a little bit bothered by the fact that I can't be ordained.

Maybe I am completely missing the point here.  I am sure you could tear apart every one of my arguments in a matter of a few sentences.  I'm sure you are a lot smarter and much better educated than am I.   But what I really want to say to you, Kate, is this: Come back.   Get on that proverbial road to repentance The church needs you.  We need strong, outspoken, intelligent women to be a force for good in this world, and in helping the church to grow in the right ways. We need women who can ask questions and start dialogues, and who can be leaders.  You don't need to be ordained to the priesthood to do any of that.   And I know it is hard.  I hope and believe that with faith and patience and diligence and long suffering, and all those other saintly attributes that I am so sadly lacking in, that we can figure out all these hard questions together, with help from the One who has the answers.

Your sister, Lynne

Soda

 Have you been to one of the new soda places that have migrated up here from St. Geoge yet?  You know, the ones with the big soft sugar cookies, and every flavor concoction of soda you can imagine?  For a sodaholic like me, those places are dangerous.  Especially since I work right smack in between the two places in Bountiful. And especially because my co-workers are manipulative addicts.  And ESPECIALLY since I discovered the wonders of mango in a Diet Mountain Dew.  Oh my goodness, the wonders a simple beverage can work on a boring weekday afternoon.  At my work, we can, and too frequently do, drop everything we are doing for a quick soda and cookie run.

This is a bad habit.  A really bad habit.  I mean, it's not manufacturing meth in your basement bad.  But still, it
s bad enough that I am about to make a major life change.  And this is why:

A few weeks ago, I was at my dentist for my semi-annual cleaning and check up (hello Lakeview Dental! Hello Dr Stanfield!) when the hygenist (Hey Natalie!) asked me if I drank diet soda.  I really wanted to lie, and say, oh yeah, one or two a week,  but I figured if she was asking, the truth must be obvious.  So I fessed up, that yes indeed, I do drink diet soda.  Every day. All day long.  I grab one on the way to work, have some more with lunch, and then again on the way home.  And usually more at night too.  It's embarassing, really.  It really doesn't help that I work in a place that sells it cheap either.   So then the hygienist went on to explain to me all the reasons it is bad for your teeth to be sucking down soda all day long.   What are you talking about, I thought to myself as I nodded politely at her.  It's sugar free!  And I brush and floss every day and I don't smoke and I eat- well, okay I eat crappy too, but really, diet soda is my only big vice and now you are telling me it's ruining my already fragile teeth?  Yep, she says.  You should stop drinking it so much she says.  Great, I think,  I don't smoke. I don't drink.  I don't gamble.  I don't manufacture meth in my basement.  And now you are telling me my one vice, my only crutch, my security blanket, pacifier and significant other all rolled into one has to be eliminated from my life?  Or at least drastically reduced?   No way, I thought.  Sorry teeth, I thought,  but my diet soda is much more important to me than you are.  I made a little vow to cut back, but all the time, I knew I probably wouldn't.

What is it about diet soda anyway?  If my group of friends is any indication, pretty much the whole Utah universe is addicted to the stuff.  There are so many varieties, and everybody has their own preferences, and everybody swears all the time that they don't drink that much, but let's get real.  You have one in your range of vision right now, don't you.

Anyhow, on top of a gentle chewing out by the dental hygenist, a week later  all of our appliances started dying.  The  ice cream  in our freezer went soft.  A glass shelf from the refrigerator spontaneously shattered into a million tiny pieces that we are still finding in the corners of our kitchen.   The clock on the stove is unreadable because all the digital numbers have lines that don;t light up anymore.  The dishwasher keeps making this funny noise and leaves this weird brown stuff in the dishes on the top rack.  But what do all these  crappy old appliances  have to do with diet coke you ask?   Well, I started to dream about new refridgerators with all their shelves intact and icemakers that actually made ice.  And  we started looking around  for fridges and found all kinds of  pretty shiny things we could buy to put in our kitchen.  And then we found this great deal on a whole group of new appliances,  so we decided we better take a look at the old  budget, and see how we were going to squeeze some appliance cash out of it.  At some point in all this nasty talk of money, the issue of how much we were  spending on soda in the course of a month came up.   And the answer was too damn much.   Between my husband, kids and me,  we are drinking the equivalent of an over- the-stove- microwave every month.  Or a car payment, depending on how you want to look at it.   That is ridiculous.  Add in my dental bills and this habit suddenly  got too pricey for my taste.

So last night, as I was lying in bed trying to coax my caffeine-addled brain to sleep and calm my poor overworked bladder into shutting down for the night, I made the decision:

 THIS FAMILY IS NOT DRINKING ANY MORE SODA.

I didn't even consult with anyone.  

This is not the first time we have attempted this.  The hubby and I, who is as big of an addict as I am, actually gave up soda altogether about four years ago.  Then we started slipping just a little here and there, and now, we are  both worse than we have ever been.  Last Sunday,  for example, was a typical day of diet soda consumption at our house.

After church, I had a nice cold diet coke from the fridge while I worked on a few things on the computer. A little later, the power went out so we went for a drive and it felt like a great time for another diet coke.  When we got home, I had to figure out some financial stuff before Monday morning hit, and to get me through the stress,  I decided I needed just one more diet coke.  Then I went to bed and laid awake for four hours, cursing the fact that I was not sleeping.  Hmmm, wonder why.  It couldn't be from that day- long infusion of caffeine and carbonation could it?


So , at three in the morning, in the desperate throes of insomnia, I vowed to change my evil ways, and switch to water.    Hubby is on board, at least  he says he is.  The four kids don't know yet, but they WILL be on board, seeing as how the ship they are sailling on has already left the dock.

But of course we aren't crazy.  We aren't banning it forever.  Just for three days. Just until Friday.   We are starting slow, because.  I think I can live until Friday.  If we can all make it to Friday, maybe we will celebrate with a trip through the McDonald's drive thru.  And THEN, maybe next week we can shoot for FIVE soda free days in a row.  Baby steps, people. Baby steps.

Four days without soda might not seem like much to you, but to me, it seems like an eternity.  I am trying to psych myself up for this.  I am buying a bunch of bottled water.  I am buying Dasani drops.  I am stocking up on gum and mints to get me through this.  And Excedrin.  I'm sure we will all need some of that.

I really think I can do this though.   I come from a long line good strong pioneer stock who made it across the plains,without any soda I might add.  My dad gave up cigarettes about 15 years ago.   My hubby comes from a long line of gamblers and alcoholics, but there must be hope for him as well.  Surely together we  can give up a little thing like caffeinated, carbonated water, right?  Right?

  We will see.

Swig, I will see you on Friday.

Friday, June 20, 2014

June Bits and Pieces

We have survived the first week of swimming lessons, thanks to much help from co-workers, neighbors and grandparents.  See, Olivia is taking swimming lessons every afternoon after school.  She has to be there at 4:30.  I work til 6:30 four nights a week, Dan's schedule is highly unpredictable, and to complicate things even more, her lessons are in Farmington, half way between home and my work.  But through the miracle of helpful people, we have her transportation covered every day.  Mostly because I have arranged to get off early three days a week.  And you know, I could get used to getting off early three days a week.  It's really quite a nice change of pace.  She is loving the swimming too, so it's all worth it.

Today, since I got off early, we thought we would take Will in to the driver's license division to do his road test so he could get his official drivers license.  Then we found out we had to call ahead to schedule an appointment for a road test.  And the next available day is July 18. So much for the days gone by, when you could just show up, fill out a form, and wait in line for two hours to take your test.  And  so, he has another month to practice, and to find a job so he can start paying for that bothersome car insurance. And gas. And it gives me another month to wrap my mind around the idea of my baby boy becoming a driver.  I am still getting used to the fact that he is taller than me and he shaves.  Watching him drive off on his own for the first time may be the final blow that does me in.

Other exciting news: we are FINALLY getting a new mailbox.  One made of bricks that the big bad wolf can't blow down, and hopefully will also be able to withstand baseball bats on Halloween. It is costing a small fortune, and we may not eat for a couple weeks, but it is totally worth it.  Heck, I don't know what I am more excited about- getting the mailbox or getting rid of the huge stack of bricks that has been taking up valuable real estate in our shed.

Our faithful, fruitful peach tree that has produced hundreds and hundreds of pounds of peaches over the past four summers has finally decided to take a summer off.  It has three peaches on it this year.  And even though I will miss the fresh peaches, I am mostly thrilled at the thought of not having to deal with the peach onslaught that is a regular occurrence around here in September.  Truth be told, we still have canned and frozen peaches from 2012.  Maybe we can clear out the old food storage a bit this winter.  Also, I am speaking for all three of the peaches that are on the tree.  I shall be picking them and eating them at the peak of their perfection, and will probably not share.

Dan is going to try his hand at tomatoes this year.  He complains every year that I don't plant tomatoes.  I told him I am not the only one around here that can plant and care for tomatoes.  We go through this every year and this year, he decided to give it a go.  Me, I am planting pumpkins.  And sunflower seeds.  And I am still working on those zinnias in the front yard, which so far are kind of a bust. If I have my way, most of my day tomorrow will be spent in the yard, watching my new mailbox go in and cleaning out the flowerbeds.  Ah, late spring.  All of summer still ahead of us..

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Where the Pure Breezes Blow and the Clear Streamlets Flow


Here is proof of the level of geekdom that exists in our family: our family vacations involve driving long distances to remote valleys to pay homage to the filming  location of the death scene of Captain James Tiberius Kirk  in some random Star Trek movie from the 90's.   This place is also known as the Valley of Fire.  When we got home, we watched the movie, and yes indeed, Captain Kirk did indeed meet his death on this very mountain.


I am no better though, really.  I got every bit as geeked out over the chance to see Atlatl Rock, and it's petroglyphs.  But at least I get geeked out over reality, and not something that never even really happened.


Climbing up this rock involved lots and lots of stairs.  At first Olivia made it up about one fourth of the way, then she got scared and refused to go any further. The rest of us went up without her. It wasn't too long though before we looked down and saw her making her way back up again, all by herself. She made it all the way to the top and even ventured out onto the metal ramp to look around.  She sure was proud of herself, conquering her fears and all.




We also lucked out and went on the birthday of the state of Nevada, which means that we got in for free, and we got a complimentary deck of cards from the great state of Nevada as well. What else would you expect to get as a gift from Nevada?

These are just more random rock shots from Valley of Fire.  It really was a pretty amazing place.   It was also a great place to meet your daughter's boyfriend's mother from France for the first time.  I guess we didn't take any pictures of that event, but she really was there. and so was Erwann. They drove from LA thay day and we managed to both get to the same spot in the desert at almost the exact same time.










After all that hiking around, we hit the pool at our hotel.  Olivia would have been happy to stay at the pool the entire time. In fact, we have decided that our next vacation will involve nothing but sitting poolside.


 The next day, we hauled off for Zion. Oh Zion, dear Zion. Land of the free. What is it about  Zion?  No where on earth can possibly beat this place.  I just don't know why we stay away so long in between visits.

Hiking Emerald Pools





Oh, here is a picture of Valerie, Erwann's mom.  And the rest of us girls

We even made it to the top.  About half way up, Olivia started complaining.  She was ready to be done.  She had not planned on quite such a hike.  But once we made it to the upper pools, she completely revived.  All it took was a little water, a little sand, and a little basking on a rock in the sun.


After that, we had lunch at the lodge and enjoyed the rockers on the front porch for a bit.


After lunch and a rest, there was a little talk of tackling Angel's Landing, but no way was I doing that with Olivia and Duncan.  And me.  It scares me.  So we settled for this hike instead:


This was the view from the top, and considering it took about one fourth the time of Angel's Landing, and about a tenth the anxiety, I would say it was well worth it.  This was Canyon Overlook, it was the PERFECT hike for our group, and the views are amazing.  There are even a few places where you have to scurry over some rocks and narrow paths so you really feel like you are hiking.  It never gets too hard though, and it is beautiful the whole way up.



















Alisa and Erwann and his mom were planning on camping in the  park that night.  We followed them to their campsite, and then I got really jealous that they got to camp out and have a fire and s'mores and sit under the stars.  We were also sad that we had to leave them so soon.  They were taking off the next morning for more sight seeing adventures and we our lives at home to get back to, so we said our sad goodbyes and took a jillion pictures of each other.



 Oh yes, it was Father's Day, which sort of got overlooked in all the hubbub.  Might have to have a do over. 


 I'm just so HAPPY to see her!



Alisa and Will are equally talented in the cock-eyed look department.  Or maybe spending time with all of us just does that to them.   On the drive there, we were talking about Piper being left at the dog boarding place and Olivia was worried about how sad she must be feeling without us.  Will must have scoffed at her worries, because I heard her say to him, "Well, would you like itWill, if your family just went off and left you all alone for four days?"  A hort pause, and Will says, " Uh, yeah, actually, I would".  And then we all laughed.

But he was just joking.  I think.

Anyway, now we are home, and all the fun appears to be over for the time being.  Olivia is back in school and Dan went back to work. I took today off to catch up on laundry and do some yard work.  The laundy is coming along nicely, but it is raining cats and dogs, so the yard work is going to have to wait.  The rain is not stopping Audrey and her friends from jumping on the trampoline.  Someone is going to break their neck, I am sure.  Olivia has swimming lessons every afternoon for the next two weeks, and the rain will not stop those either.  It is going to be nuts around here for the next 14 days.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

A Break

Ahhhh the beginning of vacation.....starting today at 6:30 pm, I am officially on vacation for the next five lovely days.  Having it all stretched out before us is the best part, better even than actuallly going anywhere.  Life is just chock full of possibilities right now.

We are taking off tomorrow for St. George to meet up with Alisa and Erwann and Erwann's mom Valerie, who is visiting from France. It will be a quick, crazy trip, and we are going to make the most of every moment.  If, that is, we survive the next 18 hours of getting ready to go.  Currently, Olivia is wandering around singing, Duncan is complaining that nobody got milk, Audrey is making taco soup, Dan is harping on everybody to do something constructive, Will is nowhere to seen, and me, I am doing this, as a means of escaping the panic of my to do list.

In celebration of our mini vaycay, here is a picture from last Halloween:



And that little gem will have to hold us all over until next week, when we return triumphant from the Valley of Fire.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

The Fourth of June

No summer fun around here today, other than a Bonneville Shoreline Trail hike for Audrey that started at 7:30 this morning.  She is taking summer gym, which means she has four hours of gym class five days a week for three weeks, and then she doesn't have to take any gym during the school year.   I would have died for a deal like that in junior high. The real bonus is they do better things in summer gym, like swimming, hiking, bowling, etc. although so far there also seems to be plenty of regular old sports.  On Monday, the first day of gym, she jammed her finger playing softball.  Today it was still swollen and black and blue so off to the Instacare she went for an x-ray.  Nothing broken, just bruised, and now a nice medical bill on the side.  Oh well, that's what the HSA is for.

Will is still plugging along in Logan, staying with friends up there, without his cell phone, which allegedly was left in some girl's car who has now gone on vacation to Texas. So we are thinking about just leaving him in Logan until he finds some way to contact us.  I'm a little curious about how long it would take him to decide he better come home. My best guess is that it would be about ten days.  I probably won't get to find out though.  His dad will make sure he is home sooner than that.


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

We Are Having Summer Even if it Kills Us

Today at 7:30 pm, we pulled some weeds and planted some zinnia seeds.  The zinnias are not exactly flourishing this year, possibly because Belle has decided to make that flower bed her own personal toilet.  I keep squirting her with the hose every time I catch her in the act. I frequently hate cats.

After yard work, we jumped in the car and went to look for bird houses and to buy the first snow cones of the season. Duncan got root beer and wild cherry. I got peach and pina colada and Olivia went for tiger's blood.  Now we are off to take Piper for a walk to see the new baby goats at the end of the street.  It's not much, but it's all we got.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Hey Monday

What I absitevely positlutely had to do on this beautiful first Monday in June:

-take Olivia to a dentist appointment.
- get a root canal of my own while I was there.

I so did not want to spend time in the dentist chair today.


What I really really needed to get done today:

- a pile of laundry
- a pile of dishes
- a pile of shopping
- a menu plan
-a fridge clean out

I didn't much want to do any of that either, but it would have been preferable to the dentist chair.

What I should have done today, but didn't even think about making time for:

-gone for a run
-paid some bills
-cleaned a toilet
-walked a dog
-read a book

All good things, right?

What I really wanted to do today:

-plant some flowers
-shop for a bird house for the top of our brand new stump, created on Saturday when we took down our dead tree
-water the lawn
-clean out my closet
-sit in the sun

And what I actually did, which I have to note, since it feels like I got nothing accomplished:

-went to the bank
-washed underwear
-tore the sheets off my bed
-folded clothes
-went to the dentist
-played on my phone
-took my kids shopping for some much needed summer clothing
-ate outside at In-n-Out Burger with my kids
-drove to Brigham City and back

Now we are watching Toy Story III, which was the compromise between Olivia wanting to watch Sleeping Beauty and Duncan wanting to wach Harry Potter.  Only now Duncan is nowhere to be seen, and Olivia should be in bed because she has SCHOOL tomorrow.  I guess I should also note that Will and Audrey's last day of school was Friday.  Olivia still has a month left.  This year round schedule is for the birds.  It's gonna be a weird summer.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Surprise Surprise

 From day one, every thing about Olivia has been a surprise.  You would think by the time you get to your sixth kid, you would know what to expect, but this girl has pulled the unexpected on us at every turn.  So it only seemed fitting that for her ninth birthday pary, we throw a few suprises her way.

We started talking about her birthday in January.  I was very adamant that we would not be having a big birthday party this year.  She has had huge blowout birthday parties for the past five years, and it seemed like a good year for a nice quiet little celebration. Olivia agreed, and all she really wanted was a family party with her cousins. Sounded perfect to me.

Then complications started setting in.  Dan had to work that day.  So we opted to have cousins come up on Sunday.  But that left us with all of Saturday, which was her actual birthday.  It seemed like such a waste to have a birthday on a Saturday and not have something fun going on.  When I asked Olivia what she wanted to do, she said she wanted to have a double play date with some of her friends.  Then the wheels of my mind started cranking.  Dan was planning on taking her out to breakfast that morning before he went to work.  It seemed like the perfect set up for a surprise party.

Then it became a theme,  and we planned a few more surprises for her along the way.

First off, when she opened her bedroom door on her birthday morning, she was hit with an avalanche of balloons that were taped to her door and rigged to fall down when the door opened.  She got up too early for us to catch the moment, but this is what we did catch:


The Before:
 

And the After:


 Then, at breakfast, she was stood on a chair and serenaded by the cutest waiter ever, who got all of Denney's to sing to her.  She was not too thrilled with this at the moment, but came to grips with it later on and decided it was pretty cool.

When she got home from her birthday breakfast, she was so surprised and happy to find all of her friends jumping out to yell surprise at her.  She was so sweet and happy, and has been talking about it ever since.  One of the best parties we have ever had, one of the easiest and one of the cheapest.  I didn't have a lot planned, but it turned into an all day play date with her favorite friends.













My cake creation.  Olivia has been wanting to make one of these rainbow cakes for a long time. It was surprisingly easy, and fun, and turned out great, only a little crooked.


Later on, Grandma and Grandpa came over for yet more party.  Olivia got a tea set for her birthday, and Grandma and Audrey joined her on the floor for an impromptu tea party.


Audrey must have lovely breath.  Her parakeet was fasinated with the inside of her mouth, and darn near hopped right in.


The next day, Grandma Linda, Melissa, Clint and kids came up for more yet more partying.  Audrey made cupcakes, and as usual, created a masterpiece with them before they were devoured.  The twelve of us managed to make 48 cupcakes disappear in one evening.
 Originally, all Olivia wanted to do for her birthday was a have a party with cousins.  It's  nice when you get all your heart desires. But next year, I MEAN it.  NO PARTIES.