Let Go

Today in Primary, I was doing my best to teach a lesson about serving others.  I was telling the kids how much the bishop loves them, and how much time he spends serving  them and their families.  I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it too.  Then one little kid raised his hand.  I called on him and he said very thoughtfully,

 " My cats never ride bikes, but when they cross the street, they always wiggle their ears."

 And then I realized that at some point, I had lost them completely.  Every last one of them.  So we passed out gum and did a craft. A service project craft, okay?

And then, in singing time, I was sitting there, singing along, and the kids were being great and having fun, and then this thought just came to me out of the blue:  I cannot do this much longer.

Which is weird, because I have loved Primary for a long time.  Nearly four years we have been in there.

And then, right after Primary, Dan and I got released.   We knew Dan's  release was coming, but mine was a shock.  After my obviously less than illustrious lesson today, part of  me feels like I got fired.  Another part of me wants to dance a jig of joy, because even though I loved being in Primary,  ( and I mean loved loved loved it)   four years is kind of a long time.  Also,  I didn't (yet) get called to anything else, so right now I am callingless!!!! (SHH, don't tell anybody).  Another part of me will miss it a lot.  Dan got called a few weeks ago to High Priests, and since we were team teachers, and because we were in Primary so long,  I know it mostly has to do with his change in callings, but it still feels like I've been displaced. And now I just have to sit around and dread where they will put me next.  Say what you will, but Primary is pretty much cake.   I felt pretty safe there.  And now, who knows what I will have to do? Ah, change.  Sometimes I am not a fan.   The good thing is our ward has a plethora of talented, spiritual, experienced  leader-types for all the big calling so I'm not too worried about anything too scary.  Plus,  I'm kind of in tight with the bishop right now.  Maybe he will be nice to me and find me something cushy.  Just PLEASE don't put me in charge of planning any parties.

There. I went and did it.  I doomed myself to cub scouts.  I just know it.