Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Door Ajar

It is 11:00 a.m, I am eating my second ice cream sandwich of the day, and it is all my refrigerator's fault.

I had just settled in to a comfy spot  on the couch with my laptop and a diet Coke, to accomplish a few tasks online. I had zero intent of getting up for anything. Then suddenly,  my very intelligent fridge started beeping. Now technically, that beep means that the fridge door has been left ajar for some time. Over the years,  I have become well conditioned to respond to that beep. I don't know why the thought of the fridge door being slightly ajar is so disturbing, but it is. That stupid door alarm inspires the same type of primal, urgent response as a newborn's cry. As long as that beeping is happening, there is no way I can ignore it and focus on something else. I am compelled to go shut it up.

And you and I and the fridge all know what happened next. Really, what are the chances of making a mid-morning trip to the fridge and coming back empty handed? Those ice cream sandwiches were on my agenda before I even set the computer aside and hefted myself off the couch.  After all, I had eaten one for breakfast just an hour or two earlier. Of course my brain was tuned in to them. I swear I never even had a chance to say no.

It was such a smooth sequence of events; really a demonstration of the miracles of the human mind. Within a few milliseconds, I heard the fridge beep, subconsciously made the decision that putting forth the effort of getting up was worth the payoff of shutting the fridge, remembered the ice cream sandwiches, and concluded that I would get one.  Moments later, mission accomplished, I was back in my comfy spot and wondering what the heck had happened.

Why does my brain work this way? Why can't it respond so swiftly at five in the morning when my alarm goes off and it is time to get up and exercise? Surely early morning exercise releases at least as many endorphins as a stupid ice cream sandwich, albeit it takes a little more time and effort to get them flowing?  Maybe I should rig up my fridge alarm to my bedside alarm. Maybe if I think the fridge is open at five in the morning, I will be more motivated to get out of bed.  Of course, then I would be eating ice cream before breakfast, as well as for breakfast and after breakfast. But hey, at least I'd be up to exercise.

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