PWSD

Post Wedding Stress Disorder. It's real, people. I know because I am living it.

When we were in the frenzy of planning, which really lasted from January 18 to August 8, I kept remembering things at odd moments that I needed to do, or something I had to add to a list. And I had to write it down at the very moment it occurred to me or I would forget it. And then I would stress out trying to remember what I had thought of.  So I got a notebook to keep all my ideas in. But then I could never find the notebook, so I would just grab another notebook and start writing in that one.  This pattern continued until  I had about five of these notebooks going, and I was constantly searching through random notebooks looking for things I knew I wrote down somewhere. Which was really almost as frustrating as not writing them down at all.  So now,  I have all these notebooks lying around the house, and I keep running across all these random wedding lists.  And when I find one, I can't just set it aside and go about my day. I have to analyze it, check it to see if I actually fulfilled that list, and ruminate on how it all turned out all over again.  I am 99.9% absolutely thrilled about how perfectly everything came together  But there is a little list of things in my head I wish I could redo. I could waste a lot of time fretting about that imaginary list if I let myself. But then I remind myself of all the millions of things that went absolutely right. And it's all fine, it really is. And when I'm in the middle of an ordinary day, just going about my life, and I find a notebook or a list, mostly all I feel is: I DON"T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE WEDDING ANYMORE.  Those lists are irrelevant to my life!  We survived the wedding and, it's' like the load floating off my shoulders all over again.  It was all so fantastic and beautiful, and I am so glad it's over. Really, there was no letdown.

So why am I still so semi-functional? Laundry gets washed and folded but not put away, We sometimes manage to eat some semblance of dinner around nine pm. My room is a mess and I don't even care. I have NO desire to run, even though I am supposed to be running a half marathon in one month. I have even less desire to eat right. I eat crap all day long. I could sleep all day. I have to  drag myself out of bed about 15 minutes before I have to leave for work in the mornings. As  result, I have diagnosed myself with PWSD. Post Wedding Stress Disorder.  All that wedding planning blew a fuse or two in my brain.  Which is entirely possible. My brain was pretty fried by the first part of August. So I'm thinking I will submit my newfound diagnosis to the DSM IV committee.

It was all worth it though.  I only hope I can recover in time for Audrey's wedding. She wants one just like Alisa's.