Thursday, July 18, 2013

Let Me Off This Ride

Today is July 18, and it marks an anniversary that we were so sure we would never see. 

Today marks seven months of unemployment for Dan.

Yep. He is unemployed. Again.

The job he got?  The job he started Monday?  It's over.  He was let go after two days.  I don't want to explain the reasons why.  I don't understand why, really.  But it's gone and it isn't coming back.

Three weeks ago, we were so happy.  He had just gotten a job offer, and we happily thought
 that life was going to be good to us, that things might be normal again.  Boy were we stupid.

I know people mean well, but  I'm tired of hearing things like, "everything happens for a reason" or  "God has something better in store for you".  How do they know what God has in store for me?  I have faith in what God has IN STORE for me in the long term sense, but I don't believe that God has guaranteed any of us a good job, or anything other blessing in life..  I think he wants us to learn to believe and obey in all circumstances, even when we don't get what we want.  And I think he cares very much  about HOW I respond to what happens to me, and honestly, I am not responding well right now.  I'm tired.  Mad, discouraged, hopeless, scared.   I thought we were going to have a chance to move on.  And now it feels like we are stuck forever in this abysmal rut.

And ironically, the only way out is to stay positive. And to find hope again.  And to count our blessings.   Boy, life sure does suck sometimes.

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